Hunny, I'm So Sorry No One Loves You Enough to Tell You, But. . .
Stilettos and a "wide belt" (micro mini pencil skirt) are NOT the best things to wear to an outdoor concert with first come, first served LAWN seating.
Okay, you look fab. Well, you did until your heels became covered in clumps of grass and damp earth after sinking in up to the soles. And while that "skirt" IS kind cute, if it's not stretched so tight we can see every line, those grass stains aren't doing it, or you any favors.
I know he's cute and you want him to like you. Odds are he does if he's spent the money to take you to this particular concert. These tickets aren't cheap, Honey. But there is a good chance he'd still like you if you wore something a teensy bit more practical for the location of your "date" Or, maybe he doesn't or he might have warned you about the chance that you'd be ruining your fancy heels and showing anyone further down the hill who happens to be looking back when you try to sit down all your personal, ummmm business.
Oh, and those of us who are "working" here, and often a fair share of the regular concert guests. Ummm, hate to tell you, (okay, maybe hate is a bit too strong a word here) but we ARE laughing as we watch you try to navigate your way though this mess you've gotten yourself in to. We're sorry, but we've seen it enough times that try as we might, and we do try. . . sometimes. . .we simply can't help ourselves. We HAVE to laugh. Trust me you would be too if you could see it.
My advice, now that you're here and beyond the point of no return? Kick off those fancy shoes and barefoot it. That grass will feel soooooo great. Bat those beautiful long eyelashes at that guy you wore this get-up for so HE fetches you a nice glass of wine (no more than 2 or you'll have to make multiple trips to the ladies room and you know what that means - sinking shoes and exhibitionism - again) and something to snack on and just enjoy the show.
And next time, do just the teensiest bit of research into where you'll actually be going and dress for the conditions. I believe in you, Hunny, I know you can rock a pair of sneakers and some shorts or skinny jeans and an awesome top. You'll be much more comfy, still look fabulous, your heels will stay clean and ready for a night on the town and none of us will even chuckle as you walk by.
Okay, you look fab. Well, you did until your heels became covered in clumps of grass and damp earth after sinking in up to the soles. And while that "skirt" IS kind cute, if it's not stretched so tight we can see every line, those grass stains aren't doing it, or you any favors.
I know he's cute and you want him to like you. Odds are he does if he's spent the money to take you to this particular concert. These tickets aren't cheap, Honey. But there is a good chance he'd still like you if you wore something a teensy bit more practical for the location of your "date" Or, maybe he doesn't or he might have warned you about the chance that you'd be ruining your fancy heels and showing anyone further down the hill who happens to be looking back when you try to sit down all your personal, ummmm business.
Oh, and those of us who are "working" here, and often a fair share of the regular concert guests. Ummm, hate to tell you, (okay, maybe hate is a bit too strong a word here) but we ARE laughing as we watch you try to navigate your way though this mess you've gotten yourself in to. We're sorry, but we've seen it enough times that try as we might, and we do try. . . sometimes. . .we simply can't help ourselves. We HAVE to laugh. Trust me you would be too if you could see it.
My advice, now that you're here and beyond the point of no return? Kick off those fancy shoes and barefoot it. That grass will feel soooooo great. Bat those beautiful long eyelashes at that guy you wore this get-up for so HE fetches you a nice glass of wine (no more than 2 or you'll have to make multiple trips to the ladies room and you know what that means - sinking shoes and exhibitionism - again) and something to snack on and just enjoy the show.
And next time, do just the teensiest bit of research into where you'll actually be going and dress for the conditions. I believe in you, Hunny, I know you can rock a pair of sneakers and some shorts or skinny jeans and an awesome top. You'll be much more comfy, still look fabulous, your heels will stay clean and ready for a night on the town and none of us will even chuckle as you walk by.
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