An Ordinary Life

I don't think I would have believed them. I KNOW I wouldn't have wanted to, nor would I have ever wished for it to be this way. There have been several times I "thought" I had my path mapped out, and if I did my part toward the goals I set, however simple, I'd get there and all would be well. As my current boss says nearly every day, "That's what you get for thinking." So, here I am at nearly 56, at what is generally thought to be a time of starting down the back side of "the hill" and I have to figure out how to map out and navigate yet another new path, starting from scratch, how to be something, or someone else. . . again. There were things I was excited about experiencing at this stage of my life, that either are no longer an option, or simply aren't turning out anything even close to what I had hoped. That would be workable if I had a clue how to fix that, or even could, but I'm not sure that's possible either and it...

I had not really allowed myself to "fall apart" over the events in my life recently. A few tears and a lot of involuntary heavy sighs, but that's about it. Too much had to (and still has to) be done to indulge myself that way. Well, my mail yesterday changed all that. I'd not been "counting on" a positive outcome from my claim to the VA but I had been hoping for it and really did think my chances were good. Nope. The letter came yesterday. Denied. And everything crashed.   Then this is the Bible verse of the day in my email this morning: “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28 NIV   I believe I've been "coming to Him" all through this. or I wouldn't have been able to hold it together. In fact I believe that while I've always been firm in my faith, I've actually been stronger in that aspect of my life than I'd been in a long time. It had been a conscious ...

Okay, yeah, on the face of it, it may seem selfish of me to donate my time and energy to a place that, to many, may not seem like as "worthy" a cause as others that are more political, or humanitarian. There was a time I might have agreed with that. But after having spent considerable time at 'The Gardens' my belief in the validity of the mission there grows stronger every day. Oh, most definitely there is a selfish element to it. It's fun. So many interesting things happen there and so many fascinating people visit. Then there's the fact that nearly everyone who is there WANTS to be there. Occasionally a guest will visit and you can tell they joined in under pressure from the rest of their group, but chances are just a short time after arrival they'll have changed their mind and will be enjoying themselves along with the rest of us. From time to time staff members might become a bit disillusioned. But for them it's a job and jobs have a way of doing...