An Ordinary Life

One year ago today, I said goodbye to my best friend, the love of my life, the person who had the power to make me laugh a full on belly laugh, cry crocodile tears or so angry I could spit nails. The person who no matter what was going on around us, or how intense the situation was, I could be completely confident had my back and even if I was wrong, would take my side, then set me straight in private if need be.  Even with all of the challenges he faced in life, he ALWAYS made me feel like I could do anything and usually would get me started on the road to getting there. I loved him and had NO DOUBT he loved me. I’ve heard time heals all wounds. I’m not sure this one will actually heal because there isn’t a day, most days an hour or even minute I don’t still think about him. If I’m watching TV and hear a creak in my old house, and even if I don’t hear it, I still look up expecting to see him taking a break on his way back from the bedroom, leaning on the kitchen island, or sitt...

It isn't so much that I haven't come to terms with my current "status" in life. I have. . . At least I think I have. I mean I've said things like, "I'm the surviving spouse." and "My husband has passed away." and other people have called me the "W" word and it hasn't really phased me. . . much. I've even had to put that as my status on a few forms. But I really hadn't said it out loud. But this week I got a phone call and the caller asked to speak to Ed. That may seem unusual, but we had started giving out my number for his business calls because he often didn't have his hearing aids in and missed important calls. It caught me off guard a bit because, while it happened frequently right after he passed, it had tapered off and I hadn't had any for about a month. "Hello, this is _______ Ambulance, Company, may I speak with Edmond please? We're calling to make sure he was happy with the service ...

Well, it's been awhile since my last post. Looking back I see it was the day before my life was turned upside down. It still hasn't righted itself and I'm not sure it ever will. Oh I know it will get better, well, easier is maybe a more accurate way to put that because "better" is so subjective. My amazing family and dear friends are all doing so much to help me navigate while "upside down" and I'm so grateful. But all their help can't make my mind stay focused to do what I need to do now or fix this. My Darlin' Edmond On June 28th in the early morning hours a chain of events started that would change everything for me. My Darlin' Edmond, still groggy from the medications he took to help him sleep got up from bed to use the bathroom. He slipped, or tripped or something, lost his balance and fell hitting his rib cage on the foot end bed post. The impact fractured at least 4 ribs (the hospital just said "multiple" but...