A Day in the Life of a Funeral Director's Assistant
Mmmm REAL coffee! My weekend treat!
Yesterday was just nuts. Not a bad day, a fairly good one actually, just busy and full of speed bumps and very little of what I planned to get accomplished at work actually happened.
For example, I had 6 "guests" that I needed to help along their journey when I left on Thursday. I had agreed to run back over to the office in the evening because one of our guests was returning from a trip to the other side of the state and needed to be let back into the building. This guest, and one other were scheduled to leave us on Friday morning (if I agreed to do the late drop off) Plus 1 other who was actually at another location would be joining them. This drops me down to 3 guests. YAY!
Wellllll, on my way to work as I'm dropping Nate off, the funeral director calls me and says, swing by Bigby and grab us some coffee? Huh? 1st of all, I didn't recognize the number so I almost didn't answer. 2ndly, he doesn't drink coffee. Uh, okay. I almost never go to those places so I had to figure out where the nearest Bigby even was. Sheesh it was crazy busy. Oh, it was something called "Free Shot Friday" Uh, okay. SPEED BUMP!
I made it to work about 10 minutes late. Oh well. Da boss informed me he started his day in a foul mood. (ruh roh- goodie) But then said he didn't know if it was me, or this large cappuccino I was delivering but since it was ME delivering it, he was going to say I improved his mood. COOL! However, we also had 2 new guests. (back up to 5)
His schedule of meeting with families is loaded and we kind of plan out our day based on that. A call comes in. Uh, another new guest. Okay, 6.
I turn to print out a sheet I send to doctors to get cause of death info and, have a little "thinking wheel" on my puter screen with a message, updating please do not turn off your puter. Ugh. why didn't you ask me if I wanted to wait to do this (like over the weekend?) My puter was updating ALL MORNING! Seriously, it finally was done at 12:15! MAJOR SPEED BUMP! Like sink hole sized!!! Nearly everything I do requires that thing!
During that time a new widow called just frantic because she was trying to compile her husband's obituary and could she come in and talk to someone. Since Mr. Boss was fully booked and generally I do the uploading of obits (and he prefers my literary skills to his own lol) or assist with wording if needed. I of course told her I'd be happy to help (and I really was) So I too had a "family meeting" now.
She arrived about 11:15 and as my puter was still down, and she had brought her "new" laptop, we logged her on to our wifi and were just starting to look at what she had been trying to write up when another guest's family member arrived.
I'm learning that grief is different for everyone. While many aspects of it are common to us all, or at least similar, we are all individuals and it hits us uniquely. This poor girl was there to sign authorization papers for her "daddy" to be cremated and she was falling apart. Fortunately, the new widow is more of the celebrate the life rather than mourn the passing type (as am I) and she graciously allowed me to address this new arrival. (another slight speed bump) What could have been a 2 minute encounter, turned into about 20, about half a dozen tissues and a couple of hugs.
Okay, back to the obit, but no puter yet. Ugh. She really had done a pretty great job of pulling information together so it was just a little reorganization of her thoughts and tweaking here and there. Some families are very basic and have a Dragnet approach to obits. Just the facts. Others share those little things that made their loved one who they were. This was one of those. I'm finding that assisting with obits is maybe my favorite part of the job and often I end up really wishing I had known that person. I consider it such an honor. Even though obituaries are posted or published for all to see in newspapers or on websites, they are intended to inform family and friends of a passing. They are written for those who knew this person. I am a stranger and I get to see these sometimes very personal things about their loved one. Those little things that are what we really remember about those we love who have passed on. These people trust me to make sure those special notes are shared properly. I'm so honored that they do.
We got it done and I assured her that I would find a way to get it posted on our website before I went home and since my boss was out for lunch (between his meetings) I opted to post it from his puter and then add the photo she had emailed to me when I could finally (hopefully) use my own and get my emails.
During that time another phone call came (they actually come steadily throughout the day but some take a couple of seconds, others much longer) This at first glance was a simple pricing check, but turned in to much more (another speed bump?) As I was still there alone, and it had gone beyond the simple pre-need price check for shopping around to an AT-NEED (someone has actually passed away) and the person passed at home. This type requires quicker movement as most families are very uncomfortable having the deceased remain in their home for very long. Time to bring in "parent company" reinforcements. I got a call back number, jumped on the phone to my cavalry (my boss doesn't have a cell phone - yeah, I know) and despite their being crazy busy, they were able to help this family out. However, now I'm back up to 7 guests and still no working puter to help any of them move on.
Early afternoon appointment for the boss called in saying they were too ill to risk coming in. THANK YOU! So da boss offers to have the meeting via phone, which is possible sometimes when things are going to be simple and this one was. My puter opted to finally come back to life and I could start attempting to catch up, if the phone would give me a bit of a break. The sibling of the gal who was so upset in the morning arrived in the afternoon and we discussed some of the requests she had made which he graciously agreed to and da boss and I set about making them possible should the gal decide to actually take advantage of the options. This sent us back to "visit" with that guest and scan in his fingerprints. That break I was hoping for? Not to be unfortunately, until the later afternoon appointment arrived. I thought just maybe I'd actually get to make some progress, but this family had some slightly more complex arrangements in mind and that meeting required my involvement in regard to a variety of obituary placements with several edits and adjustments to get them just so.
Needless to say, my 7 guests are all tucked away and waiting till Monday for me to try to move them on in their journeys. I did take some steps with the newest of them and that's a good thing, especially if those steps actually have some success over the weekend. (info returned from doctors) Hopefully we won't have many, or better yet any new guests arrive over the weekend (unlikely, usually we are busy on Mondays with new guests) but either way, I'm finally getting a bit more comfortable with the "how" of my job and figuring out how things work and when I don't know, how to figure it out, so I'll just take things one step at a time till I catch up and if more speed bumps pop up, I'll deal with those too. And the boss is starting to toss in "atta gals" and "I love how you did that" and "great ideas" quite often too. Not that I need those really, but as I still struggle in the job performance confidence area at times, and I so want to do a good job for our guests' families, they are REALLY nice to hear and I'll take them.
Yesterday was just nuts. Not a bad day, a fairly good one actually, just busy and full of speed bumps and very little of what I planned to get accomplished at work actually happened.
For example, I had 6 "guests" that I needed to help along their journey when I left on Thursday. I had agreed to run back over to the office in the evening because one of our guests was returning from a trip to the other side of the state and needed to be let back into the building. This guest, and one other were scheduled to leave us on Friday morning (if I agreed to do the late drop off) Plus 1 other who was actually at another location would be joining them. This drops me down to 3 guests. YAY!
Wellllll, on my way to work as I'm dropping Nate off, the funeral director calls me and says, swing by Bigby and grab us some coffee? Huh? 1st of all, I didn't recognize the number so I almost didn't answer. 2ndly, he doesn't drink coffee. Uh, okay. I almost never go to those places so I had to figure out where the nearest Bigby even was. Sheesh it was crazy busy. Oh, it was something called "Free Shot Friday" Uh, okay. SPEED BUMP!
I made it to work about 10 minutes late. Oh well. Da boss informed me he started his day in a foul mood. (ruh roh- goodie) But then said he didn't know if it was me, or this large cappuccino I was delivering but since it was ME delivering it, he was going to say I improved his mood. COOL! However, we also had 2 new guests. (back up to 5)
His schedule of meeting with families is loaded and we kind of plan out our day based on that. A call comes in. Uh, another new guest. Okay, 6.
I turn to print out a sheet I send to doctors to get cause of death info and, have a little "thinking wheel" on my puter screen with a message, updating please do not turn off your puter. Ugh. why didn't you ask me if I wanted to wait to do this (like over the weekend?) My puter was updating ALL MORNING! Seriously, it finally was done at 12:15! MAJOR SPEED BUMP! Like sink hole sized!!! Nearly everything I do requires that thing!
During that time a new widow called just frantic because she was trying to compile her husband's obituary and could she come in and talk to someone. Since Mr. Boss was fully booked and generally I do the uploading of obits (and he prefers my literary skills to his own lol) or assist with wording if needed. I of course told her I'd be happy to help (and I really was) So I too had a "family meeting" now.
She arrived about 11:15 and as my puter was still down, and she had brought her "new" laptop, we logged her on to our wifi and were just starting to look at what she had been trying to write up when another guest's family member arrived.
I'm learning that grief is different for everyone. While many aspects of it are common to us all, or at least similar, we are all individuals and it hits us uniquely. This poor girl was there to sign authorization papers for her "daddy" to be cremated and she was falling apart. Fortunately, the new widow is more of the celebrate the life rather than mourn the passing type (as am I) and she graciously allowed me to address this new arrival. (another slight speed bump) What could have been a 2 minute encounter, turned into about 20, about half a dozen tissues and a couple of hugs.
Okay, back to the obit, but no puter yet. Ugh. She really had done a pretty great job of pulling information together so it was just a little reorganization of her thoughts and tweaking here and there. Some families are very basic and have a Dragnet approach to obits. Just the facts. Others share those little things that made their loved one who they were. This was one of those. I'm finding that assisting with obits is maybe my favorite part of the job and often I end up really wishing I had known that person. I consider it such an honor. Even though obituaries are posted or published for all to see in newspapers or on websites, they are intended to inform family and friends of a passing. They are written for those who knew this person. I am a stranger and I get to see these sometimes very personal things about their loved one. Those little things that are what we really remember about those we love who have passed on. These people trust me to make sure those special notes are shared properly. I'm so honored that they do.
We got it done and I assured her that I would find a way to get it posted on our website before I went home and since my boss was out for lunch (between his meetings) I opted to post it from his puter and then add the photo she had emailed to me when I could finally (hopefully) use my own and get my emails.
During that time another phone call came (they actually come steadily throughout the day but some take a couple of seconds, others much longer) This at first glance was a simple pricing check, but turned in to much more (another speed bump?) As I was still there alone, and it had gone beyond the simple pre-need price check for shopping around to an AT-NEED (someone has actually passed away) and the person passed at home. This type requires quicker movement as most families are very uncomfortable having the deceased remain in their home for very long. Time to bring in "parent company" reinforcements. I got a call back number, jumped on the phone to my cavalry (my boss doesn't have a cell phone - yeah, I know) and despite their being crazy busy, they were able to help this family out. However, now I'm back up to 7 guests and still no working puter to help any of them move on.
Early afternoon appointment for the boss called in saying they were too ill to risk coming in. THANK YOU! So da boss offers to have the meeting via phone, which is possible sometimes when things are going to be simple and this one was. My puter opted to finally come back to life and I could start attempting to catch up, if the phone would give me a bit of a break. The sibling of the gal who was so upset in the morning arrived in the afternoon and we discussed some of the requests she had made which he graciously agreed to and da boss and I set about making them possible should the gal decide to actually take advantage of the options. This sent us back to "visit" with that guest and scan in his fingerprints. That break I was hoping for? Not to be unfortunately, until the later afternoon appointment arrived. I thought just maybe I'd actually get to make some progress, but this family had some slightly more complex arrangements in mind and that meeting required my involvement in regard to a variety of obituary placements with several edits and adjustments to get them just so.
Needless to say, my 7 guests are all tucked away and waiting till Monday for me to try to move them on in their journeys. I did take some steps with the newest of them and that's a good thing, especially if those steps actually have some success over the weekend. (info returned from doctors) Hopefully we won't have many, or better yet any new guests arrive over the weekend (unlikely, usually we are busy on Mondays with new guests) but either way, I'm finally getting a bit more comfortable with the "how" of my job and figuring out how things work and when I don't know, how to figure it out, so I'll just take things one step at a time till I catch up and if more speed bumps pop up, I'll deal with those too. And the boss is starting to toss in "atta gals" and "I love how you did that" and "great ideas" quite often too. Not that I need those really, but as I still struggle in the job performance confidence area at times, and I so want to do a good job for our guests' families, they are REALLY nice to hear and I'll take them.
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