An Ordinary Life

I had not really allowed myself to "fall apart" over the events in my life recently. A few tears and a lot of involuntary heavy sighs, but that's about it. Too much had to (and still has to) be done to indulge myself that way. Well, my mail yesterday changed all that. I'd not been "counting on" a positive outcome from my claim to the VA but I had been hoping for it and really did think my chances were good. Nope. The letter came yesterday. Denied. And everything crashed.   Then this is the Bible verse of the day in my email this morning: “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28 NIV   I believe I've been "coming to Him" all through this. or I wouldn't have been able to hold it together. In fact I believe that while I've always been firm in my faith, I've actually been stronger in that aspect of my life than I'd been in a long time. It had been a conscious ...

Because I'm just getting started in the world of "blogging" I don't think I've mentioned that I need to find a job. Like, right now. As my darlin's health declined over the years there came a point where it was best for me to stay home and try to help him control his conditions. We made several adjustments that did, in fact improve, or at least slow down the decline, so it was the right decision for our circumstances. HOWEVER, living on disability, even a generous situation such as the one we were in, doesn't leave a lot of financial cushion and any savings we had from prior to that decision was pretty much gone long before he passed away. Also, funny thing. When a disabled person passes away, the disability income stops showing up in the bank account. Actually, I think that got cut off before the funeral. So, there is NOTHING coming in right now and, well, as most of you know, there are lights that have to be lit sometimes, and a refrigerator that must st...

My son asked if we could coordinate our calendars this morning. By that he means he wants to be sure I have correctly noted HIS work schedule on MY calendar. His schedule is from Monday to Sundayso when we got to next Sunday's hours, he noticed my annual reminder of (what would have been) Edmond's and my anniversary next Monday (9/18) and he wrapped his arms around me and said, "I'm so sorry Mom." I've been thinking about how I'll observe the day this year and how to, if possible, make it something other than completely teary, but mostly I realized that this will be the real 'kick-off' of a year of "Firsts" that I/we will have to live through without my Edmond.My Pop's birthday is 9/17 and Mom is serving cake and coffee to his friends we lovingly refer to as "The Good Ole Boys" at Cascade Christian Church on the 18th in the morning. I'm invited to that and if I'm feeling up to it I may join in. But I'm leaning t...