When I Find Myself in Times of Trouble. . .

Earlier today I came across a post made by an acquaintance of mine on Facebook that really got me thinking. Here is the post I read, followed by my thoughts and experiences I shared in response to it.

 "I have a question to my Catholic FB friends. How do accept God's will?. My life has been very stressful and I do say my prayers and attend church and I do not ask for much in life but I see others who have it far better than me and they do not even believe in God. I wish to Change my life . I am tired of sarcastic people. I want to make some transitions and it just seems my life has too many road blocks."

My response:

There was a time, a few years back when I was asking those same questions. Why can't I find a job, how will I pay the bills, I didn't really even allow myself to consider any luxuries or extras because of the inability to cover the necessities. I kept going back on my upbringing in the church. I'm protestant not catholic, but that really doesn't make a difference. That upbringing told me that God knows what's best for me even if I disagree. Trust me it wasn't easy to let go, and if I'm honest, I'm not sure I really ever did let go completely. Things have a way of working out though and I truly believe that there is a lesson, or message or reason for everything that happens (or doesn't happen) The extra challenge is that those lessons, or messages or reasons might not have anything to do with us personally who are "going through the trials" They may be meant for someone else who simply observes us and how we meet those challenges or endure those difficulties. That's the really hard thing to wrap my mind around. I may have to live through this for someone else to get the benefit? Ouch! Another thing I struggle to remember is that while I absolutely believe that God answers all prayer, the answer to every question or request may not always be "yes" it might be "no" or "not yet" or something completely different. A good example of that happened to me this summer. You might remember that my husband passed away this past 4th of July. While he was in the hospital I prayed. . . constantly. I prayed for him to be healed, and happy. Now, when I prayed that, in my mind he would be healed and happy and still living and laughing with me. But God's answer was for him to be COMPLETELY healed and happy but in his Heavenly home. See, here on Earth, my hubby would at best have still had some serious health issues to battle and a very difficult end in store for him. But God knew best and gave me exactly what I was praying for, just not the answer I really thought I wanted.

So, what do I do to try to get through these times, and yes, as you know I too am mired in one of "these times" again myself. First, I do my best to remember that God never gives us more than we can handle and that we don't have to handle it all alone. HE is with us to help/support if we choose to let Him. Second, He knows what is best for us and will give us what we NEED when we need it. Just remember that what we NEED might not be exactly what we WANT and what is truly best might be different from what WE think is best. And third, I adjust my prayers. I don't always succeed but I try to pray for PATIENCE to wait until the time is right. I pray for AWARENESS so that I don't miss a sign, message or lesson I'm supposed to see. I pray for STRENGTH to handle whatever might come and HUMILITY to both ask for help if/when I truly need it and accept that just maybe I can't do it all by myself. And I pray for GRACE to accept whatever might be even if it isn't what I wish it to be.

None of this creates a life without stress. I don't think that's even possible. But it has helped me get through my version of life a bit more easily. I've acknowledged that I can't really control any of this. Not really. All I can do is the best I can do, one step at a time. Even if those steps are baby steps, I just keep trying to move forward. What I CAN control, is MY REACTION to what happens in my life. I can let it beat me, or depress me or slow me down or even stop me. Or I can choose to learn from it, work with, around or in spite of it and attempt to see the positive in whatever "IT" happens to be and failing to find positive in "IT" I look for other things in my life that ARE positive and am so grateful for those that I can get through "IT"

As for seeing others who have it easier or better I try not to compare my life with what I SEE theirs to be. What we see of others is just perception, not always the reality. A good example of that is one from my junior high days. I went to school with the kids of the AMWAY founders. There was a time when my dad was laid off and had been for some time and things were really tight for us. I'll never forget one of those kids (no names mentioned) telling me one day how lucky I was. HUH? The LAST thing I felt I was at that time was "lucky" In my eyes she and her family had everything. But her response was that I was lucky because I knew who my friends were and that they were my friends because they wanted to be, because of me. Not because of my family or what I had or what I could do for them.What I saw as her having everything, to her was something that prevented her from having something she really wanted. So don't just assume that those who seem to have it easier than we do, really do. We all have our challenges, or struggles or hopes or wishes. Having it easier is such a subjective thing. Having a tougher time of it sure has made me grateful for what I do have and I'm pretty good at not being wasteful or taking things for granted. I have a hunch you are too. 

Oh, and that tough time several years back when I had to learn to let go and let God? I actually do believe I was ultimately given the reason for that struggle. During that time, my Gramps took a turn and ultimately passed away. As did an aunt who never married. Had I been working at a relatively new job, I would not have had the availability to help my parents care for them or be there when they passed and for the funeral. Also during that time my husband became ill and had to be hospitalized. All of this over the space of several months. I'd feel safe betting that any job I'd have had to make my life easier, would have been lost due to my family needing me to be present during those times. Meanwhile, yes, we struggled, but we really did get by and we had what we needed, just not much of anything in the way of extras. And I got the answer to "Why" I just had to be patient till God made me ready to hear that answer.